The Great Unknown

I love nothing more then to put my rambling, jumbled mess of thoughts into words. It creates a space in my mind where I can safely stop for a moment and consider everything that I have since put down “on paper”…

Going forward from now… Because YES! Congrats to me, I got the job. I start back at full time work in a couple of weeks. I am so excited, nervous and sort of sad all the the same time.

I am excited because this means that we can stop living week to week, we can holiday more frequently, we can upgrade our living environment. We live in a small three bedroom home with just one toilet and bathroom and one living area. While it is a great sized block we are on a corner and the front yard does not get used anywhere near as much as it would if it were space in the backyard. Or in the future we can potentially purchase land and build the dream home.

I am nervous because at this point our family is so accustomed to me doing pretty much everything. I do all of the shopping, cleaning, planning, prepping and I micro manage the three people I live with. I know who has to be where, and when, and with what tools/products/uniforms etc. I know how they are getting there (FYI it’s more often then not – me). I know all of the kids friends, their parents, some of their birthdays. I know who the kids teachers are, and any concerns that my kids are having in school.  I have a pretty full on work load with just the “home jobs” let alone all of the mental things I need to know and be able to recall at any instant. It falls on me to do any and all gift shopping… It is me who preps lunches, does readers, makes sure that the kids are washing their hair with shampoo and not Alan’s gross bar of soap. For the last seven years while I have been either a full time stay at home mum, a part time student or working part time as well as parenting I have taken on the task of solely running the household. And now while I am not scared to hand over some tasks, I am very nervous that quality will slip or things will go pear shaped.

And lastly I am sad because for my children’s whole schooling life… So 3.5 years for Logan and 1.5 years for Caitlin, I have been there to drop them off and pick them up from school 99.9% of the time. As of me beginning my new role – they will be in before school care every day and most likely after school care at least three nights a week.

Currently I am researching school holiday programs… Which I am sure has not even crossed Alan’s mind. Why?? Because this is something that wouldn’t even be a blip on his radar. It’s just assumed that the children will be cared for… By who??? By me or someone that I have organised, unless pre-arranged with him that he is in charge.

But I am sure once we are in a routine of dropping the kids to before school care, organising Caitlin’s dance class, getting Logan to his sports coaching that it will all fall into place like a well oiled machine. But before that can happen a heck of a lot of ground work, research, setting up accounts etc, will go into it. By me, of course.

Time to start planning our routine, who will be where and when… If I draw it up now then I can begin implementation and reflect on it for a few weeks before I actually have to follow it completely.

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